A Slut's Guide To Happiness Podcast - Episode 11: Negotiation and Boundaries in BDSM and Porn - with Hazel Havoc
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When filming porn or exploring kink, like impact play, bondage, or humiliation, consent becomes more complex and nuanced than off-camera or vanilla sex. Hazel Havoc, a long-time pro-domme, pornstar and personal life kinkster, explains methods to ensure that all participants are experiencing BDSM and porn in a way that is positive and desirable. Hazel uses a variety of communication strategies to prepare for scenes that range in their depth and formality depending on the circumstances. She shares the little card she keeps in her wallet to remind her of the categories of questions to check in about before play. She also describes the longer questionnaire she uses with more professional, complex scenes. Even with ample preparation, not every situation works for all participants; safe words, repair and aftercare are also important components of positive sex.
Published by CliffMedia
Video Transcription
Welcome to a slut's guide to happiness, where your body is perfectly imperfect and it's
safe to be as sexual, kinky, queer, or slutty as you want.
Today I will be talking again with a dear friend, a caring goofball and wicked smart
pro-dom, sex positive educator, and the chief learning officer of Cliff Media, Hazel Havoc.
Previously we talked with Hazel Havoc and her husband about their journey in sex work
and porn, and today we will be talking with Hazel about another really critical topic
around boundaries in kink and porn, which this woman has a lot of really smart ideas
about how to handle a critically important and often very tricky conversation that happens
in all kinds of sexual situations.
So, Hazel, can you tell us about the very first time you negotiated a kink scene?
Yeah.
The first time.
So the very first time it was with this human, Sasha, who I was sure was far more experienced
than me in every way, shape, or form.
And so I was like, I gotta level up the game.
I gotta know, I gotta come with my A game, because they have this ton of experience.
So you were feeling some intimidation?
I was, I was, and I didn't want to fall short, right?
Little did I know, and I found out months and months later after Sasha and I became
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