Play With My Ass, Please

Okay.

I'll be waiting.

I'll get ready.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry.

Hello?

Hey, so uh...

I'm on that date

from that uh... dating app.

Oh, that hot chick, right?

Yeah, and um...

She wants me to stick things in her butt.

Wait, where are you?

In the bathroom.

You're in the bathroom? Where's she?

In the bedroom, we're at her place.

Okay, so...

But I can't do that.

No, come on.

Everyone knows that the way to a woman's heart

is through her ass.

It's not one to mine.

I get... There's no way. I've never done it before.

It's too much for me.

Do you like her?

I do. I mean, I thought we'd just like make out.

Maybe get to second base.

You know what I mean? Go all the way.

And then in 2018, you know, it's like the stakes are higher now.

Like, you've gotta like fuck asses now.

And like...

I mean, it's some crazy shit.

I had to tie this chick up the other night.

I thought we were going for coffee. I had to fucking tie her up.

So, it's just a different time.

I think you should fuck her ass.

You should go for it.

I mean, she likes it, right?

She's got...

She'll tell you what she wants.

Just fuck her ass.

Okay.

Dude, I'm watching a Nash marathon right now, so I gotta go.

...